max and paddy raymond the bastard

As is RaymondTheBastard. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin. How many kids does Christine McGuinness have? * [[spoiler: LukeIAmYourFather: Averted. * ThirdPersonPerson: Paddy is this fairly frequently. Tina finally gets the duo out, but now before a payback for Potter Is due.Welcome to the Official Peter Kay YouTube channel! Apart from being a bastard, he runs this wing. ** In a deleted scene from the first episode, Paddy walks in on Max having some * AssShove: When Paddy was a child he used to frequently shove StarWars action figures up his arse and once had to be taken to hospital after sticking an Obi-Wan Kenobi figure up there. Especially when they're on the road. * ParallelPornTitles: Paddy owns a DVD of. She doesn't appear to be doing that anymore. [2] In 2011, he played his first major role in the feature film Screwed, directed by Reg Traviss, playing the part of Curtis Nelson. * DepravedHomosexual: While Raymond The Bastard is more evil than depraved, his first scene features him in the shower being lathered up by two of his cronies and complementing Paddy's genitals. A big fight is about to break out between Raymond and his henchmen against Max and Paddy. * CelebrityParadox: In episode three, in the scene where The Wolfster writes his telephone number on a beermat and hands it to Max, it is clearly a Peter Kay beermat, tying in with Kay's TV adverts for John Smith's bitter. * VocalEvolution: Max's voice is different than in Phoenix Nights because continuing it would have risked long-term damage to Peter Kay's voice. * PrisonEpisode: [[spoiler:Episode Four after being set up at the end of Episode Three. It's real life this son, not the frigging Shawshank Redemption! No Context Max and Paddy. You should wear a mask and a striped jumper! The rip-off merchant Mick Bustin wants 500 from them for them to reveal the campervan. * ButtMonkey: Gypsy Joe in the first episode. Max in turn makes his own heroic sacrifice by [[spoiler: not telling Daniel that he is his father, and letting Tinas family remain intact. in the process. Shortly after the series, the two characters starred in their own fitness video entitled "Max & Paddy: The Power of Two", which features a cameo from Brian. It's [[SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome real life]], not the frigging [[Film/TheShawshankRedemption Shawshank Redemption]].]]. Max decides not to tell his son that he is his real father, allowing the family to get on with their lives without him interfering. He also keeps a poster of, * BigDamnHeroes: Tina has an offscreen one in Episode Four thats both intentional and accidental. This involved holding up Little Chef employees to gun-point to make her open late for them. * ThirdPersonPerson: Paddy is this fairly frequently. ** Paddy tries to have one at the end of the first episode but the volume of the TV wakes up Max who is less than pleased. ]], * MacGyvering: When Max and Paddy refuse to pay an extortionate repair fee for the motorhome; [[spoiler: they break into the garage where it's being held, build a battering ram out of ladders and oil drums, fix it to the roof of the motorhome, and bust their way out of the garage.]]. * TunnelKing: [[spoiler: Maxs attempts at this leave a lot to be desired. The pair arrive in London, and immediately have an altercation with the traffic police. Hopeless doormen Max and Paddy leave clubland and embark on a series of wild and exciting adventures in their prized motorhome, "Easy Rider" style. * PrecisionFStrike: Mick Bustin's OhCrap moment. Season 1 of Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere premiered on November 12, 2004. spoken by Paddy to Billy the Butcher when knocking him out with a traffic cone.]]. The police are quickly on to the gang, with only Shannon aware of any crime. After discovering the girls, locally known as the 'Belgrano Sisters', are infamous for this, they get revenge by forcing them to steal some speakers for their television. Manage all your favorite fandoms in one place! Although the main workout is shown in full, it is more intended as a spoof product than a genuine workout. And Max going along with it until one of them goes too far. ]], * JailBake: [[spoiler: Averted. [citation needed] He has also provided voiceovers for several video games. * FatAndSkinny: Max and Paddy respectively. The farmer sells them a breeding pig for 100, which he claims they can sell on for 300. Paddy is not happy. * HoneyTrap: Tracey and Sharon, the girls that Max and Paddy take home in Episode One after going out dressed as sailors. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. Peter Kay touched on this in the DVD commentary of Phoenix Nights, saying that he should have told the production company to buy a larger motor home than the Ford as he intended to use it in the spin-off. Raymond is the worse of Paddy's nightmares when Paddy drops the soap, and is eagerly commented about his manhood as "Stunning, like a young Burt Reynolds!". [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin (Tinas husband and an old friend of Max who believes he is Daniels father) to remain a happy family. His roles on television include Wayne in The Street, Raymond the Bastard in Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere and Cecil in Prime Suspect 5. -->''''Dont know where were going, got no way of knowing. Also the farmer isn't very happy about the two killing one of his cows. * [[spoiler: ConvenientlyCellmates: Averted in the case of Max and Paddy along with some LampshadeHanging from a guard. It comes to a close when the two of them manage to return to the garage. After the previous episode the duo are now being held on remand in prison. [[GassHole A lot.]] Tina finally gets the duo out, but now before a payback for Potter Is due. He's a bog-standard white man. ]], ** Max and Paddy not paying the (admittedly extortionate) repair bill for their motorhome and instead [[spoiler: stealing it back (see MacGyvering), and taking all of the keys to cars the mechanics were working on and tossing them out of the motorhome one by one while driving off]] seems like this until the reveal that [[spoiler: the mechanics, ** Maxs attempt to [[spoiler: gradually tunnel out of prison. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. The farmer sells them a breeding pig for 100, which he claims they can sell on for 300. Billy also appears in said flashback before he returns as the main supporting character in Episode Six. -->And best of all, we don't pay council tax.''''. Me and Paddy are in prison. He also begins a strong dislike for Paddy Because Paddy took Billys Job When Billy Went To Prison for 5 Years. Maxs counter that he has a good stand-up wash in the sink once a week [[NotHelpingYourCase doesn't exactly help his case]]. [[spoiler: Max decides not to tell his long lost son Daniel that he is his real father; allowing Daniel, Tina, and Kevin (Tina's husband and an old friend of Max who believes he is Daniel's father) to remain a happy family. See FanDisservice. * AffablyEvil: For a DepravedHomosexual [[TheYardies Yardie]] who's literally named "The Bastard," Raymond the Bastard is pretty polite to Max and Paddy. Before Billy can pull the trigger, Paddy recovers and renders him unconscious with a traffic cone. They still end up in cells next door to each other though.]]. Elsewhere Paddy's love of pornography is mentioned quite frequently. Tina, it's Max. After a stint in a porn film (a film called Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Factory - a gay porn parody of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory) leaves Paddy humiliated, the campervan breaks down in the Midlands. He either thinks he actually is Music/CliffRichard or just has a disturbing love of him; looking like him, having a painting of him on the wall surrounded by candles, and singing Millennium Prayer to it all night. After a bad first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' in the shower room. Paddy is still bleeding profusely when he walks away afterwards.]]. As is Raymond The Bastard. A chase eventually ensues through the services and along a motorway tunnel bridge, and Shannon shoots Paddy in the bottom. [[DescriptionCut And this is after Max has mentioned him "softening up" in recent years.]]. * DoItYourselfTheme: The theme song was written by Toni Baker and Peter Kay, and borrowed heavily from the theme to ''Series/BJAndTheBear''. * {{Gayngster}}: Raymond the Bastard is possibly a Yardie, definitely a scary convict, and definitely gay. After an altercation with a camp inmate called Pepe, Max and Paddy are soon confronted by the main man of their wing, Raymond The Bastard (played by Everal Walsh), who is also Pepe's boyfriend. It doesn't leave. * {{GassHole}}: The pig that Max and Paddy buy from a farmer impulsively ends up filling their motorhome with the stench of its farts. They come across what they assume is him: a mentally unstable, dirty old man in a field, who instead of giving them compensation money sells them a breeder pig for 100. ** Replace "crap" with "fuck" and you've got Mick Bustin's exact reaction when he sees [[spoiler: that Max and Paddy have stolen the keys to all of his clients' cars. Max and Paddy then dress as paramedics and use the TV under a blanket as a stretcher to get all three out of the building. ]], * IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy: An example that is both romantic and non-romantic at the same time. With Max's inferior tunnelling skills, sharing a cell with Cliff Richard is the least of Paddy's worries; his good looks are bound to cause problems in the shower and not just in competing for the soap. The pair are released, having their sentences reduced to community service, and get revenge on Brian Potter by informing the Home Office that there is an outbreak of anthrax at his club. Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere (TV Mini Series 2004) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Max & Paddy Steal A Plasma Screen | Peter Kay Watch on What is Altria known for? Learn how and when to remove this template message, Screwed: The Truth About Life as a Prison Officer, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Everal_Walsh&oldid=1104797357, Short description is different from Wikidata, BLP articles lacking sources from October 2013, Articles with unsourced statements from October 2013, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License 3.0, This page was last edited on 16 August 2022, at 23:45. * ChekhovsGunman / EarlyBirdCameo: Maxs ex-girlfriend Tina appears in flashbacks in Episode Two before playing an important role in Episodes Three and Four. But then again, there was no way the rest of the Phoenix staff knew about it, assuming Brian kept it to himself and went along with the campaign anyway. He has also appeared in Coronation Street, Emmerdale and Doctor Who. '', * EstablishingCharacterMoment: [[AxCrazy Billy the Butcher]] is introduced beating up a pizza delivery man with a bin for bringing him the wrong delivery. * HeroicSacrifice: Tina is determined to keep the secret that [[spoiler: Max is Daniel's father]] because it will destroy her family, despite that it means [[spoiler: Max and Paddy being in prison because her going to the police and corroborating their story will reveal everything. After an uncomfortable first night, Paddy admits his fear of being 'bummed' (see sodomy) in the shower room by Raymond the Bastard (Raymond Langley). Max and Paddy pose as members of staff, and Joe pretends to faint so an ambulance will be called while Max and Paddy steal the TV from the stockroom. The introduction of all but one of the episode shows Max and Paddy singing the following song: Don't know where we're going,Got no way of knowing,Driving on the Road to Nowhere.Sponging for a living,Checkin' out the women,Riding on the Road to Nowhere.And we take don't shit from anyone.The only thing we wanna do is have some fun.It's Max and Paddy (-Paddy and Max! * TheYardies: Raymond the Bastard is black, a convicted criminal, and speaks with a Jamaican accent, so it's safe to say he qualifies as a Yardie. * ParallelPornTitles: Paddy owns a DVD of ''[[Series/CharliesAngels Charlie's Anals]]'' and later appears in a film called ''[[Film/WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Factory]]''. * WaxingLyrical: When Max finally meets [[spoiler: his long lost son Daniel]], he attempts to give him some meaningful advice and ends up accidentally quoting Father & Son to him. * [[spoiler: PrisonsAreGymnasiums: Episode Four includes a scene set in the prisons exercise yard and at the start of the episode, Paddys cellmate challenges him and Max to a game of tennis. * ADateWithRosiePalms: Paddy tries to have one at the end of the first episode but the volume of the TV wakes up Max who is less than pleased. He was tunnelling towards the next cell. Max & Paddy's Road to Nowhere, sometimes referred simply as Max & Paddy, was a spin-off series based around Phoenix Nights characters Max Bygraves (Peter Kay) and Patrick O'Shea (Paddy McGuinness), better known as Max and Paddy. They still end up in cells next door to each other though. Max has How dare you (delivered in a haughty tone) and You only get a bucket and a half (relating to the amount of semen a man can produce), and Paddy has Paddy has needs (relating to his sex drive). Brian brings Max and Paddy a cake while they are in prison and they immediately assume it's this trope. Or as Paddy calls them, "Big Bob's [[PrecisionFStrike Bastard]] Beans". * HonestJohnsDealership: Gypsy Joe's shop is in the back of a lorry and everything is stolen. Its [[RealityEnsues real life]], not the frigging [[Film/TheShawshankRedemption Shawshank Redemption]]. He had also stated in 2010, during an appearance on The Chris Moyles Show, that he wanted Sir Terry Wogan to play an Irish baddie when Max and Paddy go to a funeral in Ireland but, after a stag night, only have fancy dress magician clothes. 15Hopeless doormen Max and Paddy leave clubland and embark on a series of wild and exciting adventures in their prized motorhome, \"Easy Rider\" style. Doesn't take long before they try selling it. They do get cornered by local DepravedHomosexual Raymond the Bastard in the showers, after dropping soap, but [[SubvertedTrope he doesn't rape them]]. Paddy is then forced to share a cell with a tennis-playing Cliff Richard impersonator who actually believes he is Cliff. Kay and McGuinness themselves sang it in the opening sequences of episodes 2 to 6. Although Brian's actions were self-serving in that they helped to promote the Phoenix more than help Max and Paddy, there was no way he could have known that [[spoiler: he was putting them in danger.]]. Language links are at the top of the page across from the title. Max convinces him the best thing to do is make the other prisoners believe they are not just two silly doormen, but genuine big-league gangsters called 'The Phoenix Twins'. Join us in our mission to support and promote British comedy across the decades. Potter fails to listen, and the whole wing later see him on the news talking about 'the doormen' Max and Paddy: thus revealing their stories as lies. * MessyPig: Played with by the pig Max and Paddy end up buying from a mad farmer. He's a bog-standard white man. This joke is based around the rumour that Sunderland player John O'Shea is regularly teased by.

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