my sons girlfriend doesn t like me

he had a dream of going to college after high school was going to major in medical field of some type. My sons girl friend hates us. Can I Use Apple Cider Vinegar for Babies? The pros and cons of social media (like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Google+, and Tumblr) on teenagers. The cops that responded to her police call informed her that it was a civil matter. "The kids really love her." What change they would like in their life at the moment. 6. When You Don't Like Your Son's Girlfriend. Please note that I have not informed my girlfriend of this as it will hurt her heart. Always have an open door to your home and heart. Sometimes, mothers assume their children know they are loved but it is important to express it in words as well as actions. Accepting your son's girlfriend may be challenging at first, but bringing her into your family will also bring you closer to your son. She said she heard a girl laughing and when she look over the window, she saw them, my son and the girl helping my boy doing his laundry. He does not seem concerned for his son's health and well-being. She then throws it down and says she was not pregnant. If they are spending much time together and less time on school or other activities. I also would remind him that parents are the only sure relationship that would never end. He'll be 38, ten years younger than I am now. Scarlet has two children from two different baby father's that she abandoned because she wanted to be with my son. ", "Your life, your choice, son. They attended our sons high school graduation as well as his party. The passing of his father, my husband had impacted us both and I believed we were always going to be close. Here are a few I can think of: 1. My son is my only child and he is a hard working young man and all she is doing is wasting his money and using him to look after her kids that belongs to two different men! His Dad advised him that telling Mom doesnt necessarily mean acceptance from Mom on the relationship.I am really struggling with how to handle this! It is important to have cell phone rules for kids. I am new to mumsnet, and I'm not actually a woman, hope this isn't an issue. She won't bath him or put him in clean clothing and seems to be extremely harsh with him. He doesn't recognize it but he is being passive-aggressive. It's important not to judge the girl or he will rush to her defense. You said you dont like your sons gf because shes childish, woooah! We are in a day where accusations can and will destroy a person. We went to visit him a few months ago, we emptied his flat which we are now having to rent out to cover the mortgage payments. I was extremely hurt and said so to my son. Required fields are marked *. Its your parental responsibility to take action and start a conversation with your son about his manipulative partner. Is there anything else we can do or are we taking the wrong approach? If you continue to "keep away" from them, they will blame her for that so try not to stay away. If this girl is important to him than she is important to you, too. The parents only work a few hours a week because they are on state insurance and if they go over hour then they lose the insurance! Always communicating and bonding with his siblings and grandparents. "Let your partner know it means a lot to you to see . If you are together in 5 years when college is over great, but don't miss out on so much of your young lives. My adult son's girlfriend never goes home she sits in his bedroom all day smoking while he's at work she's lazy and doesn't clean up after herself she pays no money towards bills. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on November 04, 2015: Good for you, Bill. She is very controlling and walks around like she is better than us or above us. Within 1 1/2 years, she has had five jobs. Did you criticize them a lot? This woman doesn't care about those things." But that's not an option anymore. 6. She has to have the desire to fix herself. You dont want to hurt his feelings, lose their trust or worse, and they will take you as a controlling parent. bingskee from Quezon City, Philippines on July 10, 2010: though i find it funny that a hub will be discussing something about this, i find the tips very useful as well. Send out lots of love to him. Then there was the mornings she would stay in bed and my son trying to wake her but she wouldn't get up. It is not uncommon for both men and women to want to rescue someone. He is still dependent on us, only has a part time job, just finished school, starting uni and her influence of always needing him & her party lifestyle is rubbing off. But it is gonna be a hard task to accomplish. Fast forward 4 years.he is dating her again and considering moving in with herughhh! Please advise. After 2 months I could not take it any more and told her that she had to leave. If he is willing to risk his career, relinquish his faith, marry beneath or above his station or even give up his wish to have children, he will have to live with the consequences. Sadly, especially sons, they do break away at some point. Your email address will not be published. Here, I highlight the most common problems faced by teenagers today. But this is not just a girlfriend. And it sounds as though they see themselves in the children's romance. She had died her hair red (my son love's red heads and she decided to do this). First, you might want to have a sit down with your son. Lesson learned! Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content. I still would address my son and let him know that it is only fair that his gf cleans up after herself and perhaps they need to kick in extra money for the extra expenses she creates with groceries, utilities, etc. 8. It really is as simple as that! We need to question why this girl attracts him. Young lovers are blind to serious red flags in their relationships which is why mothers become so alarmed when they see what they perceive to be poor choices, but its important to refrain from being petty. If his girlfriend is prone to violence, she poses a risk to your son and any future children. Because when she knows this, she'll do anything to make you happy in return even if that means accepting the new love of your life. I know from experience! Also, she was told that when my son leaves for work in the mornings, she must leave at the same time. While I still stand behind my suggestions in the article, there are times when you have to make a choice between risking a relationship with your son or having to standby helplessly to watch him suffer. We painted a picture of what family life with her as a wife and mother of his children would be like. Not all life paths are meant to be easy and if he chooses a hard path, we'll walk it with him. Whenever I would tell my son anything, he then went back and told her about it. My son learned and is so much wiser and stronger for it. The time to say your peace is before they reach the altar. As his parents, you have to let him ride this one out to see which way it goes. Ok, that was a year ago. I never forgot the first day Scarlet walked into the hotel room, she had earring coming of our her mouth, nose, and tattoos all over her back. Whenever I see my son, I know he's been with her because his clothes smell like a forest fire. How can I turn a blind eye to all that I know about this woman? He will want to make his "own" decisions. "My fianc really respects you, mom, because you are so ____ and she needs a role model for that." We advised to keep one subject he is on top of, as he has always said if he took a gap year he will never go back to study! A woman that does not cook for herself, will not cook for a man. I'm at a loss over what to do about my 23 year old son's older "fiance". Where is your hometown? Any advice for us.his siblings miss him terribly, and so do his father and I! He owes his other brothers between the two of them close to 8,000! She is into voo doo and casting spells. You see he is rescuing her from anxiety depression and anorexia, due to his EQ. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on December 24, 2012: Don't make a big deal about their engagement. Generally, women who go into nursing are very nurturing, patient and compassionate people. Not a very friendly person at all..she actually has made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. He doesn't have to meet your approval or work against it. It feels bad because the person has some good or redeeming qualities and there could be some good feelings and even love there. Would he want his son to cut him out of his life over a girl? Tell your son it is the policy in your home that unmarried couples do not share a room or bed in your home. The second court notice (this time with a mediator). The mother would make comments about how he could finally take her out on a real date. If she heartlessly uses your sons emotions to make him agree to her terms. He feels protective. My son has turned all care of my grandson over to her and she is neglecting him horribly. If she hasn't visited him, that is a clear sign--and should be to your son--about her loyalty. I decided to post this comment because I am proof that doing right by your child or a person does not mean that you will be okay. The thing is that a young man must be getting something from his relationship with this girl. She's the one with the closest relationships to all involved. I was working a temporary job and since he was the only one working a full-time permanent job, I asked him to stay with me and help with the bills. She has placed a huge wedge between us. When I told my son that a woman who does not cook for herself, will not cook for you, he replied "women don't cook anymore." my son has been with a girl for 2 years now the family can't stand her. we will never accept her we just don't know what to do. They will remember all of your loving care you gave them through the years and eventually, they will change their behavior towards you. original sound - Ryan The Lion. "One reason why I fell in love with her is because she is a lot like you in that she is very caring and kind." Anyway, at this time she is refusing to let me see my grandson. I mean, I . I bought borax and washed all the clothing in it and even did a second wash with a vinegar rinse before taking all the clothing and hanging in the sun to dry. Instead, I would open dialogue gently. Being manipulated to the point where he cannot see friends without her & is changing his personality, kind and helpful but not allowed to help his family move house without her creating a huge amount of stress on him taking a night away. How long do these things last? The woman has been on unemployment since sometime in the early days of her pregnancy and has allowed the property she owns jointly with her childs father to foreclose. And don't discount the importance and bonding of great sex. He sold the Camaro he had(that he owed money to his older brother for and used what he got for it to put more towards the new 2016 car he purchased for his girlfriends parents). How Many People To Invite To Baby Shower. To pat -- Its YOUR house, you lovingly but firmly must set the rules. Contrary to the perception that parents getting to know their kids partner is somewhat invading their boundaries, knowing your sons girlfriend can enhance a positive parent-son relationship. It might be understandable that your mother has reservations about this girl because your previous relationship with a woman did not survive. My son met "Scarlet" (this is not her real name) about two and half years ago on line - Xbox. They do not see many of their choices as being "bad" for them. He will resent your trying to break them up so don't. When he said that, then I reacted, I said why?.. I find it useful,I have four son one came home with a girl who will never say hi to me when he first start'ed going out with her, I always said hi some time she will just be looking at me, and my son will be there when she is doing this,this is my first son, now my #2 son will tel his girlfriend not to talk to me when he has problem with me even now he send his graduation invitation to his girl friend and a friend, when she see will also not say hi,how can I understand this ,I care for this children when their father left when they were babys is this what I get for 26years, please help me. No, do not encourage it either. This has caused some problems be Its vital to have this sit-down immediately when you suspect any of the manipulative signs. ParentalQuestions.com 2021 All rights reserved. The woman that my son has fallen for is extremely, apologetically disrespectful as well. A theme like yours with a few simple tweeks would really make my blog stand out. 2. Son's girlfriend doesn't like me. No socialization there . NOW is the time to be very, very careful in his choice. But it is your house so you can draw some lines: She can't sleep over. But he might have to see that "her love" isn't so healthy--or true. He could be returned to his mother and if that is not possible, then perhaps you can gain custody or at least guardianship of him. This is where all of your loving parenting in the past will be put to a test: Will he trust you over his girlfriend? He teacher shared that the girlfriend gets really impatient with him when she drops him off or picks him up and stated she has yet to meet my son, the father. If she is emotionally abusive/manipulative, she will expertly use your criticisms of her to drive a wedge between you and your son. If he is okay with that, then that's fine but he needs to provide that roof over her head. Teens today have it hard. I was really disapppointed that he lied to me! I will definitely implement the advice herein, and it will definitely bring about positive results. Whatever you do and say, do and say it with all the love you can muster from being his parents. The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. If I were you, I would be humble enough to apologize to my son. She hates our whole family for no reason at all. my ex comes as frequently to visit our grandson as he can. My son is an adult. Never says hello, thank you, etc. To do it for her would only weaken her and it would only be temporary. So the more you attack her, the more he'll defend her. Tell us what you love about her." We had given him a car when he left school to help him out, but he had an accident. My son's girlfriend doesn't like me and has banned me from visiting the house, I am not allowed to attend family birthdays or other events like Christmas, Easter etc. Physical abuse and aggressive language are obvious signs parents should notice instantly. Not putting her down at all, but expressing that she just wasn't going to be the one to make him happy. is it normal for mothers to get jealous and mistreat the girlfriend, even though I've never disrespected their rules and wants for their son? A wiser young man would let her go and revisit that relationship if and when she became a better version of herself. Let her know that you gladly help support your "future wife" in her studies because you love her, you know she will be a great help to those she attends, and that she is anxious to help support the family financially as well. When she constantly ridicules and criticizes your son or his family. Remember, if you read my above comments, you'll understand what I mean when I say, "Call to the kitten." Unfortunately, your deeply in love son may not yet be in a position to differentiate an unhealthy relationship from a healthy one. But you did give me a good idea about turning this subject into a blog! Still, it would be best if you were careful about how you approach the matter. The right girl will bring more love and joy to the family as the family grows. Once she wormed her way in, she stopped respecting my wishes and started rebelling as well (probably my son's influence). Do your best to show how your wife has increased the joy in your life and their lives (your parents'). I apologize for not checking in to respond to these comments (deaths in family and other medical issues). We have tried to talk with our son about what we felt in the beginning was just typical new mom depression or her being overwhelmed. nice! And that will drive them both away. Sad thing is, he doesn't realize that he is hurting himself more than anyone else with this hopefully short-lived experimentation. Asks them questions about how they feel about their situation. He is going to hang on until she or he discover that there is more out there than each other. The important matter to focus on is that you aren't an underage child or young adult and you don't need your mother's approval for this relationship. "She is such a hard worker.". Now he is staying gone and won't have anything to do with me. Watching your kid with a controlling significant other can be challenging. Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on November 03, 2015: All great advice, Lori. It's hard to talk to your adult child about his choice of mate because he will see it as yet another reason to protect her. Giving up his own personal hobbies and desires etc. But he was not street smart before meeting this woman. Another persons perspective might help him see his girlfriend for who she is. Then she invited him to her house on the Sunday and I said no cos of the boundaries that I had put in place, telling both of them before hand, as I mentioned above. Even if these feelings come from good intentions, mothers would be well advised to use care in their interactions with their childrens dates since it's possible for the relationship to become long-term. We never see him, though, and I see on facebook that they are constantly doing things together~just nothing with his side of the family. Mo Mulla is a work from home dad who enjoys reading and listening to music, He loves being a dad and husband to a growing family. And in our case, my son wouldn't go to counseling so we had to provide a little for him through our our heartfelt communication. I've never been invited into the house, I have to sit in the car on the side of the road. We made the mistake of letting her live in our home 5 months ago and my home has become so uncomfortable that we have asked her to move out. However, I have traveled beyond the point of no return. As time goes on, you can bring your girlfriend by too. And honestly, I didn't like the girl for my son! Never put her on the spot, especially when other family members are present. Say, "Mom, no other woman can take your place in my heart--ever." This way, he'll learn quick that you are not controlling or directing his choices. Always bragging. I don't trust him with her anymore! I kept staring at her face and was turned off. Needless to say, it infuriated me!! "Her family might have been poor but this only gives her determination to help our family's finances." Same for the drugs and drinking as they are underage and you could be in big trouble for allowing it in your house. First, examine your own ways. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on July 18, 2012: It's such a hard transition to go from boy/child/son to man, a sexual being. She pretends that she does not see me or ignores me. He has a girlfriend and we allowed her to come stay in our home 3 nights a week. What occurred next is when I saw my son next I pointed out the stains and explained what I had to do. Fifteen years from now, she'll be on oxygen and in a wheel chair. He has began college on a full scholarship but lives at home. Thank YOU for posting. As if the first meeting wasn't bad, within two weeks of moving in, she was begging to have his baby. Tiredofthinkingmom on September 05, 2017: Lou--- yes sir we are living that now good God she may be the twin of our sons gf! We have asked he try to have a few days apart from her solely for his own mental health,self time for hobbies and study. I can't help but think that your son isn't capable of making sound decisions for himself let alone his son. Unfortunately, your deeply in love son may not yet be in a position to differentiate an. Our perspective is that you have your whole lieves ahead of you. But those first loves are the hardest to get over. What you might see as great experiences for young people may not be what he enjoys or wants to experience during his youth. Are you protesting this relationship? Please give me an advise. Set a particular time they shouldnt be outside. Her hurt will only add to the mess. Normally, I don't feel that I would be so hard on a girl but this woman has a lot of gall!! My advice to you is to be non-confrontational about his relationship. Her cooking did not last. As parents, there can be clear signs that my sons girlfriend is manipulative. OK mamas, admit it: no one is good enough for your son. My eldest son Matt has been dating this girl who has been totally appauling both my younger son Mike 17, my husband and myself. I have always supported at home and even paid for my mothers studies when she was studying, I give her money monthly just for support on groceries while i understand that this is optional as she is working after she got a qualification for her studies. When she started dating Matt she lived with her aunt apparently did not see eye to eye with her mother and step father whom run a beautiful heifer farm and her mom is a school teacher. property to rent liversedge dss accepted,

Bbc Radio Wales Contact Eleri Sion, Are Metalcloak Rocksport Shocks Good, Hoag Medical Group Claims Mailing Address, Mark Bouris Daughter, Articles M